


There was no other way

by brullf



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Heavy Angst, Hurt Stephen Strange, I'm Sorry, M/M, Not A Fix-It, POV Stephen Strange, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Stephen Strange Needs a Hug, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-29 05:41:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18772336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brullf/pseuds/brullf
Summary: Stephen Strange hurts. And Wong figured out what happened to him after the battle against Thanos.*ENDGAME SPOILERS* *ENDGAME SPOILERS* *ENDGAME SPOILERS* *ENDGAME SPOILERS*





	There was no other way

**Author's Note:**

> Here I am, trying to write another story. And this one hurts. It hurted me writing. I'm sorry... but, at same time, I felt I needed to write.
> 
> Not-beta ed. All mistakes are mine.

Stephen Strange is standing still next the biggest window of New York Sanctum Santorum. Another day is coming, the first lights are showing in the sky. The sorcerer has his eyes closed now, few tears streaming down his face. Twelve days…

A couple hours later, Wong finds him there, at the same position. In Stephen’s defense, he tried to sleep. But all the nightmares, the pain, and Peter Parker’s yells took him away from his bed. Again.

Twelve days ago, they defeated Thanos. Twelve days ago, Stephen lost everything.

\- Stephen… 

Wong approaches carefully, he knows something is terribly wrong with the sorcerer, who is keeping a stoic silence since after Tony Stark’s funeral and the brief moment with the little Morgan asking him a lot of questions.

The taller man is tired. He looks exhausted. And he feels like this deep into his bones. But he turns to the librarian sorcerer and opens his eyes.

\- Stephen, we are worried about you. We have a lot of things to do, there are massive holes and small gaps on the time-space layers of the multiverse and…

\- I can’t…

And Stephen sounds completely broken, wrecked beyond repair. It scares the shit out of the other sorcerer.

\- What do you mean you can’t?

\- Just… give me some time, Wong, please…

Stephen bows down his face again, he doesn’t need that pity and critical look over him right now. The last words Peter threw over him just four days ago are still disturbing enough: “you chose him to die, you killed him”. And Stephen couldn’t say anything because it’s true. He chose that future.

\- Talk to me, give me something, a hint, anything, Stephen Strange, tell me what the hell happened to you!

Wong begs a bit exasperated. He would keep asking, demanding Stephen to tell him something but, suddenly, the sorcerer has nearly lost his balance and needs some support. Whit the help of a worried Cloak of Levitation, Wong takes Stephen to his bedroom and sits him on an armchair.

The librarian frowns. When was the last time Stephen eat something? He and the cloak seem to have a silence conversation and the relic wraps itself around his chosen sorcerer while Wong goes to the kitchen to brew some tea.

When Wong returns, Stephen is still there, a lost look on his face. His eyes grayer than ever. And pale, coldly pale. The vivacity is gone.

\- Please, drink it.

Wong hands him a cup of tea. The cloak takes it, Stephen’s hands are too much shaking, but he doesn’t seem to care. Dutifully, he slowly sips the tea while a heavy silence falls over them.

This time, Wong doesn’t go away. He doesn’t ask again for Stephen’s words. He waits. He sits there and waits. Stephen sighs, the tears are gone. It takes him almost an hour to finish his tea.

\- There was… no other way.

Stephen breaks the silence with a whisper and his words seem to shatter what’s left of him. The cloak instinctively tightens around him, trying to offer some comfort. Wong remains silent and respectful; he knows it is infinity times bigger than his car’s accident.

\- We were on Titan, waiting for Thanos…

Stephen swallows dryly, he doesn’t want to remember, but it’s impossible for him to forget. And this will be the only time he’ll talk about it. He knows it and Wong knows it too.

\- I used the Time Stone, I went forward in time to view alternate futures. To see all the possible outcomes of the conflict against…

\- How many outcomes did you see? – Wong asks quietly.

\- 14.600.005.

\- What? Are you insane? – the sorcerer quickly gets on his feet, shaking his head in disbelief and walking through the room – Did you know how close to be shattered by the Time Stone you were?

\- Yes… – Stephen admits, and he sounds guilty and desperate in a single whisper.

\- I can’t understand, I… how many did we win?

\- Three.

Wong sits back on Stephen’s bed. He’s probably not ready to hear what Stephen must tell him.

\- Was this one the first? – Wong asks and Stephen nods – Okay… tell me about the other two outcomes where we won and what did you see.

Stephen seems to shrink against the armchair. So, the librarian sorcerer waits, giving his friend time to process his memories.

\- In the second outcome, I didn’t turn to dust. I was with… Tony on Titan when Thanos left – Stephen shudders a bit, Wong refills their cups with tea – It wasn’t easy when we landed back on Earth, Nebula was with us. The decimation was… hard, Peter was gone, you were gone. But, somehow, Tony and I… we worked together, we had the help of the Avengers and I could explain to Tony about the multiverse, how it works, the dynamics and how we could get the Infinity Stones to reverse the snap.

\- Did you survive the battle? The biggest one against Thanos? The two of you?

\- We did… – Stephen sips his tea, some tears falling again – But Tony’s relationship with miss Potts didn’t. Actually, they broke up few months after we arrived, when we were still testing the best way to go in search of the stones. In that timeline, Morgan wasn’t born. 

\- Why didn’t you…

\- We married.

\- YOU WHAT?!

\- We had a life. Together. We had a future, we… lived in the lake house. We… it was just so easy to be by his side, to sit with him at the end of the day and discuss about his projects, to let him amaze me with his genius and sassy mind – Stephen sobs – I loved him, Wong. With all of me. I loved him so, so much. And the boys.

Wong is in shock. He watches while Stephen cries again, the cloak wiping away his tears and holding his tea.

\- What boys? – Wong asks in a whisper.

\- Peter and Harley – the sorcerer says after a long pause – They went to live with us right after the battle. On that future, we took three years to get the stones reunited, to build the gauntlet and reverse the snap. Thor did it for the first time, then Carol snapped the fingers on the battlefield. And then… after Natasha Romanoff’s proper funeral and Tony announcement that she was getting a memorial, making sure she wouldn’t be forgotten, and he was raising a foundation to help kids in abusive homes, we were back at the lake house. The boys showed up a couple days after. Peter and Harley asked us to live with us… we became a family.

\- What was wrong, then? Stephen, why you didn’t pick that future?

\- Because he begged me to not choose that one…

\- He… what?

\- One night, we were in the bed, it was the first decade anniversary of the decimation, we were cuddling close... when he asked me about Titan. I told him about the other future. I told him about Morgan. And Tony broke in my arms, Wong. He couldn’t go on knowing that he could have saved his little girl. He begged me, he was so desperate, he… he swore if he could have chosen, if he was the one manipulating the Time Stone, he just wanted one thing: to save his children. The three of them. At that moment, I jumped to search for another future.

\- The third one… wasn’t better?

\- Things were a bit similar… just that time, the break-up between him and miss Potts was later, so Morgan was born, and we took four years to reverse the snap.

\- Why it didn’t work, then?

\- Because Peter and colonel James Rhodes didn’t survive the final battle. And Tony broke on my arms again, begging for the life of his son and best friend… – Stephen bends down his head and cries hard one more time. Because he lived all that lives. He lived all the 14.600.005 timelines. And, in all of them, he loved Tony. In many of them, Tony loved him back. And now, it hurts. Because Tony is gone, Tony is dead.

\- No other way… – Wong whispers deadly sad.

\- I tried… I tried so hard, I searched for other way so desperately… I went till the thin line, closest to the edge I could before being shattered by the Time Stone, Wong, so I can’t… I can’t just move on, not right now, not… I need… I lost everything. And Peter was not wrong when he yelled to me that I chose him to die, that I killed Tony, because it’s true! I did! I chose this future, I aligned the Time Stone to this outcome, I killed the man I love… I lost everything…

Stephen breaks down and Wong is there to hold him, or try, as best as he can.

\- There was no other way… to keep Peter, Harley and Morgan alive. There was… no other way – he keeps whispering it, again and again – It was not… about me – Stephen mumbles before closing his eyes, the calming essence Wong put on his tea will keep him asleep at least for a day or two.

The cloak takes Stephen carefully and settles him in the bed, the relic won’t let its master till he wakes again.

\- I am sorry, Stephen. I’m deeply sorry. I didn’t know… – Wong manages to say, a lump on his throat. The librarian is crying and feeling guilty. It seems the Ancient One was right. Stephen Strange was meant to be the best of them… at the highest cost at all.

**Author's Note:**

> I wish we could have another way.  
> 


End file.
